Bossman Magic Beard Balm, 2oz.

Posted on June 30, 2019 by bluedepth

Bossman Magic Beard Balm comes in a tin container, two ounces, much like all the other balms that I have reviewed. The product is not tested on animals, made in the United States, Austin, Texas, to be specific, and is made of only natural ingredients. The tin has labels on the obverse and reverse with directions and ingredients clearly written out. The tin itself doesn’t have screw grooves, so it is only secured by friction, this is not a problem when it comes to balms that I have experienced.

The balm is paper white in color and the scent, “Magic” smells clean and soapy, with notes of warmth, exuding cleanliness. The consistency is waxy, and the top lid claims that it will actively relax beard hairs. I’ve found it to be delightful to use, the scent lasts about an hour or so, and it has done well for my uses. This scent would pair best with unscented beard oil, and not a scented one unless it would be paired by a beard oil from Bossman themselves with matching scents.

I am looking forward to exploring more of the scents that Bossman sells, they have a four-scent pallette where Magic is just one of the available kinds. They also make a beard wash and beard oil, but I haven’t tested either yet.

2020 Democratic Debates

Posted on June 28, 2019 by bluedepth

While the Democrats were sorting out the first debate cycle with twenty candidates for the office of President of the United States, I had a chance to live-chat it out with a beloved family member. I have copied some of the things I said in this chat because as usual, when I start to work extemporaneously some significant things tend to fall out onto the page, or in this case, into the chat.

These are all my perceptions of the candidates. Mostly first impressions. It is also worthwhile to mention that I have already picked my candidate from the field, Pete Buttigieg.

On the NBC Electoral Theme Music:
- “I’ve got PTSD from the theme music. I heard it while making dinner. Muttered “fucking hell”
On Trump et al:
- If you’re talking about Trump, McConnell, or Graham – you aren’t talking about what you would do.
On Cory Booker:
- Something is terribly wrong with corys eyes.
- The right eye doesn’t follow.
On Jay Inslee:
- And Inslee has an old speech impediment he is trying to overcome.
On Amy Klobuchar:
- Klobuchar must go
- She has anger issues, and she is cruel.
On Beto O’Rourke:
- Beto comes across as frustrated and angry.
On John Delaney:
- Delaney has a caught-raccoon smirk
On Kirsten Gillebrand:
- I can’t forgive Gillebrand for what she did to Al Franken.
- Gillibrand isn’t looking at the camera.
On Andrew Yang:
- He’s not there to win.
- He’s there to get people to talk
On Bernie Sanders:
- Bernie’s Hands Attack!
  
  Almost gave Biden a Karate-Chop
- Bernie just applies volume.
On Michael Bennet:
- None of these people can count.
- One or two words!
On John Hickenlooper:
- Hickenlooper has a hardon for government jobs and socialism.
On Kamala Harris:
- She’s got an ax to grind.
General Debate Behavior, many candidates (not Pete):
- One thing! God damnit!
- They break out in babble when they see a camera.
On Taxation:
- Let’s go back to 1957. Taxes.
- We did it before. We can do it again! Make the IRS 1957 again!
- Maybe we cut back on the military a bit.
- Maybe we tax corporations, a bit.
- Maybe we adjust the tax rates, a bit.
- Maybe if we cut the poor tax to zero, cut middle class to say 10%, say to 75,000 we year, perhaps those people will have more buying power. Maybe the money we spend heats up the economy. Maybe. A bit.
- So, the trap is “How will you pay for all your fancy dancy social programs?” Ooooh. I think we can find the money.
- So, maybe we reject the narrative that we are a hard-scrabble lot struggling to make ends meet. Apple has a trillion dollars in Cash.
- So, maybe there is some room for a chat. A bit. Just a little bit.
- Or you know, we could nationalize the companies and eat the rich.
On GOP:
- When you are attacking the GOP, you aren’t talking about your policies.
- Witness the agonies of trickle-down economics. You’ll notice that we’ve swallowed the sales brochure from Ronald Reagan so thoroughly that we can’t imagine a world any other way.
On Universal Basic Income:
- UBI tickles me. This is a natural consequence of trickle-down economics.
- And how will we prevent mass starvation once automation eliminates all the jobs?
- But that reveals the true nature of America. We hate the poor. We can’t give them cash. They are filthy gimmes. They’ll waste it on frivolities. They won’t buy yachts. They’ll buy bread. Tsk tsk tsk.
- This is trickle downs time to burn.
- This is why socialism is so remarkable. What I find fascinating is the spittle and vitriol when you mention socialism. UBI downright causes a stroke.
On Healthcare, and the inflection with Undocumented Immigrants:
- Is healthcare a human right?
On Healthcare, Generally:
- And what happens when we incentivize illness?
- If a profit-seeking organization cures illnesses, they are actively denying profit.
- So, are the pharmaceutical companies actually working in our best interest?
- Healthcare from the very start. No stress about illnesses. No having to pawn wedding rings for insulin.
On Economics:
- What entertains me is just how much of the kool-aid we have all internalized. We’ve written the GOP economic plan into our assumptions. So we don’t talk about anything else. We battle from the right to the ultra-right because the land has been gated off from the right to the center and all the way left.
On Religious Hypocrisy:
- Oh, hey, Jesus. Oh them? Those are filthy sick poor people. They are drains on our economy. Why are you crying? Why are you shaking? Wait! Why did you flip over the dinner table?!
On Climate Change:
- Ah, climate.
- We missed the tipping point. 1973.
- Just! A! Bit!

These were all the instant reactions while I watched the debate performances. There were some very notable and memorable candidates on both nights. Julián Castro was the most earnest in the first night’s debate, he was passionate and clear about many topics and especially about border and immigration policy. I found Elizabeth Warren to be the most experienced and professional in the first night’s debates, she has a drum, and she beats it well. I think that may be what may disturb other folks if they aren’t on board with the Warren drumbeat, they flee. I think Elizabeth Warren is the most polarizing of all the candidates for both nights, either you are very into what she is saying, or you are very not into what she is saying. Cory Booker in the first night’s debates carries himself with notes borrowed from Joe Biden, especially framing himself coming from a damaged or disadvantaged hometown. The negative threads started to collect around Cory Booker as he came across as more prosecutorial as the first debate night concluded. The first night had us agreeing that Castro, Warren, and Booker won that night.

The second night had the headlines of today in large blinking neon. The second night was overwhelmed by the conflict between Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. I fear that Joe Biden has lost his bid, because the frame in which he was speaking was already covered in a story from the New York Times about the bussing issue which became the focus from Harris, and Joe Biden neglected the very thing that was the pinnacle of both nights, which I will cover in the last paragraph. Bernie Sanders came across as desperate, angry, loud, and impatient. Bernie lost us when he decided that screaming was the answer, overwhelming your opponent with your voice, it was disrespectful and painted Bernie as a Daedalus watching his hopes drop out of the sky in flames. I am firmly against both Gillibrand and Klobuchar because they are unfit in their own ways for the office of President. Gillibrand for being opportunistic and unable to follow basic directions and Klobuchar for being abusive and cruel.

The winner of both nights, the man who came out on top was the candidate that I had already decided on, Pete Buttigieg. The question started a conversation about the police shooting incident in South Bend, and Mayor Pete Buttigieg looked squarely in the camera and without blinking or looking away said in a clear calm voice, “I couldn’t get it done.” This demonstrates something I have never seen in any political debate in memory, the honest admission of fault and expression of humility to everyone who was watching the event. The calm, direct line was the most potent sentence uttered during the entire debate by anyone at all, for both nights. These events are built around pandering and seduction, powered by platitudes and lies, sweeping generalizations that deny reality to present the candidates in the best possible light. When something else, something novel, something new appears, it causes the entire Universe to stop, everything rotates around that one moment, and then everything resumes. It takes a proud man to flog his best qualities, but it takes the best man to trot out his failure and actually level with the citizens. There was no way to get through a police shooting like this, except this one way. The events in South Bend, because Pete Buttigieg took the hard road, makes him more my candidate for President, because he was honest, looked directly into the camera, and said the hardest thing. This is precisely, to pick up the thread from before, exactly what Joe Biden failed to do. Anyone can dodge their past, it takes real courage to skip the dodge, skip the obvious, easy road of peddling bullshit and express sincere regret and humility. We have been led by an unspeakable individual for a long while now, totally incapable of even looking at this sort of humility before everyone in the country and that is why I regard Pete Buttigieg as my candidate. I also put my money on this very thing. It was his humility before everyone, his raw courage, and honesty that made me a donor. I expect I will give more as we go along. Bravo, Mayor Pete, Bravo! Well Done, Sir.

King Manes Beard Balm, 2oz.

Posted on June 28, 2019 by bluedepth

The King Manes Balm comes in a different package than any of the other balms in this series. They deliver their product in a black tube with gold lettering. It’s made in the United States, and not tested on animals. The product is quite sensitive to room temperatures, so in the winter it’s really quite tricky to use, but in the summer it is very easy to use. The key in the winter is to massage the container until you warm it up so it will flow properly when you squeeze.

The product itself at first was a bit of a challenge to dispense as I bought it in the wintertime. After reading a lot of reviews on Amazon, I discovered many of the oddities about this product could be seen as features or remarkable qualities. Getting the right amount is the most significant learning curve, as you don’t scrape it out of a tin with your thumbnail. Instead, I’ve started to squeeze it onto my thumbnail for measurement sakes and then work it from there. The product is not waxy, it is more of a thick gel with small gritty beads. As it turns out, the beads are actually wax spheres that come solidified in the product and melt when you warm it up in your hands. The warming part is done when you don’t feel any more grit in the product as the wax has all melted. The scent is a mild mint and is quite pleasant, very light, and after about an hour, you don’t even notice it any longer. There isn’t anything more remarkable to mention about this balm, beyond any of the others other than the little wax spheres lend a kind of “readiness” factor to when it is right to work it into one’s beard.

The plastic tube is a novel packaging approach; however, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to extract all the product by squeezing. I also am concerned that this creates more plastic waste than the aluminum tins do. I assume the tins are more recyclable than the plastic tubes. The most significant factor for King Manes is room temperature and patience. You can’t just use this on the go, you need a few minutes with it, especially in the winter when the room temperature is lower than the products melt point. While I am impressed by the quality of the product, the packaging feels more wasteful, and so I probably won’t be refilling this particular balm once it runs out.

Beardoholic Beard Balm, 2oz.

Posted on June 26, 2019 by bluedepth

The Beardoholic products all have one central tragic failure, their packaging. The balm itself is a good product, it is yellow in color, and has middle of the road consistency and viscosity. The ingredients are what you would expect, however, the beeswax is the last ingredient which likely explains the natural variation in the texture between all the balms. For Reuzel, it’s the second ingredient, and so it’s a stiffer balm. This product also features an expiration date of about four years from production, something you don’t see in other products.

The scent is described on the packaging as “Sweet Orange,” and the smell is precisely so. The citrus notes are very light and refreshing. The orange isn’t bracing, cutting, or belting but more subtle. Everything about Beardoholic is a pleasure to use, except for the packaging. The first product I bought of theirs was their unscented Beard Oil, and that product came with a crumpled cap on the bottle. This product likewise came from distribution with the tin lid crushed. The packaging is thin enough where you can apply some pressure with your thumb and reform the metal cap at least on the balm. The price of this product is one of the most expensive too, at roughly $20 for 2 ounces. That puts this product at the top of the range, and while the product itself is good, for double the price of the Viking Revolution balms, I would expect more than this. I will continue to enjoy using the Beardoholic balm that I have, but considering the price, I will likely not be a regular consumer.

Viking Revolution Beard Balm, 2oz.

Posted on June 24, 2019 by bluedepth

The last review for the Viking Revolution Sandalwood has almost the same nature as this balm. The packaging is a stout aluminum canister, much like all the others. It resists warping and crushing so the packaging is one of the more reliable in all the balms I have. There are labels on the front and back, and this balm is made in China, like the previously reviewed Sandalwood one. The consistency is identical to the main body of balms as well, waxy at room temperature, not as loose as the Amish, not as hard as the Reuzel. The price point for all the Viking Revolution balms are the same, about $10 for two ounces.

The scent for this balm carries very light citrus and orange note. It’s as faint as the Sandalwood scent is strong. All the Viking Revolution products are cruelty-free, not tested on animals. That is one of the most respectable and consistent features across the entire spectrum of beard care products and something I appreciate. I would consider this balm to be a standby, much like the Sandalwood one, and shares the third place in my rankings of favorite balms.

Viking Revolution Sandalwood Beard Balm 2 oz.

Posted on June 22, 2019 by bluedepth

Nearly all of the balms and oils I have reviewed so far have all been made either in Canada or the USA. The Viking Revolution products were all made in China. I wasn’t expecting one of my absolute favorites to be an outlier. The tin is made of aluminum, with labeling on the front and the back. The consistency is similar to the main body of the products I use, not as stiff as the Reuzel and not as loose as the Honest Amish, but right in the middle. It is the consistency of wax more than paste.

The first thing I noticed about this particular item was the scent. It’s intoxicating! The Sandalwood is warm, spicy, and very strong. The smell doesn’t last quite as long as I was expecting, maybe at most an hour. Each of these balms took a little bit to get used to, but this particular one is my #2 favorite right behind the original Reuzel Balm. The Viking Revolution Sandalwood Balm has also been one of only a few that elicited direct compliments as people wanted to know what fragrance I was using. I don’t know if other balms are equally as, but the Sandalwood has definitely left a positive impression on others when I use it.

The price-point for the Sandalwood Balm is about $10 for 2 ounces, so they definitely are the masters of the best bang for your buck right along with Honest Amish.

Rocky Mountain Barber Company’s Unscented Beard Oil, 1 oz.

Posted on June 20, 2019 by bluedepth

The Rocky Mountain Barber Company also has variously scented and unscented beard oils. I selected the unscented beard oil because of my positive experiences with their balms and that they had the packaging, the rubber dropper, that made sense. This is genuinely unscented, there is almost no scent to this product whatsoever. The bottle is a Brown Glass Boston Bottle and should be what the Beardoholic folks switch to for product packaging.

This is an excellent beard oil, and I use it when I want the benefits of the oil without a strong scent that would otherwise clash with either my fragrance choice or my balm choice. The Honest Amish Beard Oil goes well with some of the warmer more woodsy scented balms whereas this one, the Rocky Mountain Unscented works well with the citrus or soapy scented balms. While I love exploring the scents in these products, having a good option that is totally unscented will always be in my beard-care kit.

Rocky Mountain Barber Company’s Cedarwood Beard Balm, 2 oz.

Posted on June 18, 2019 by bluedepth

The Rocky Mountain products hail from Niagara Falls, Ontario. They are the only ones that aren’t made in the USA. The tin is a standard aluminum one, with two ounces of the product inside. Labels on the front and rear with the full product description. The balm is wax-based and about the same viscosity as the Reuzel Balm.

The scent is piney, intense notes of cedar and citrus and is quite sharp. This balm is my third favorite of all of the balms, and it did not suffer the same glitch that the Reuzel appeared to have from the factory, the wax was glossy to start with. It was this balm that after I applied it the first time gave me a little bit of a tingle as it was brushed through my beard. The tingle was brief and was not unpleasant, but it was remarkable in that it is the only product that tingles after application. Perhaps there is an ingredient that is acidic or astringent, I don’t know.

This was also the first departure from USA products, and the Canadians make a product to be proud of. Everything I have purchased so far all clearly states that none of it is tested on animals. I couldn’t endure the thought of a rabbit covered in the product and examined. I would instead test it myself and deal with whatever consequences come from the trial. The label, “Not tested on animals” is one of those marks that are deal-breakers for me, if the mark isn’t there, I won’t buy it.

Honest Amish Premium Beard Oil, 2 oz.

Posted on June 16, 2019 by bluedepth

The Honest Amish Premium Beard Oil is next. This is one of the beard oils I use routinely. The scent screams woodshop. The notes in the scent are sawdust, the warm smell of metal saw blades and a very weak burned resin. I humorously regard this one as “An exploding lumber yard.” The oil is quite darker than anything else I’ve used and might slightly alter the white in my beard and bring out a very slight yellow tint, but I’ve never thought that a negative.

Honest Amish again delivers more product for similar cost than any of their competitors. They ship double the product for almost the same price. I seem to vacillate between applying the beard oil by hand, versus dropping the oil on my brush and using the brush to apply it. I don’t know if there is a difference in application styles, but I do think that applying it by hand seems to be a more thorough method. There doesn’t appear to be any consensus online either, as I have searched in vain numerous times.

Once the bottle at work is exhausted, I intend to rotate the Honest Amish in and carry it around with me as my go-to beard oil choice.

Beardoholic Unscented Beard Oil 1 oz.

Posted on June 14, 2019 by bluedepth

The Beardoholic Unscented Beard Oil, in the 1-ounce bottle, came damaged from Amazon. Beardoholic appears to use aluminum caps on both their bottles and tins and for some reason, the materials always seem to come from the factory bent, warped or buckled. There is little if any scent to discuss about this product, beyond the smell of some of the component oils, which are ever so slightly vegetal or woodsy, if at all.

I started using this beard oil a few times during the day but quickly grew tired of the bottle assembly. It came with an aluminum cap that was buckled from distribution if not from the factory, and so it would never retain a seal. It did not leak, but it also did not fully seat properly. There was an inner plastic dropper-hole cap, with a small plastic plug and after five or six times putting it on and taking it off, it started to warp and ultimately I had to throw the little plug away because it could no longer seal to the dropper-hole it was mated to. After about half of the oil was used, I noticed small spots of leakage, so I resolved to transfer the contents to some other bottle. This created a new comedy of errors and a life lesson on cheap scale problems for consumers. What I wanted was a Boston Bottle, brown glass, with a certain thread count and density. I learned more about bottle choices trying to fix this problem than I ever meant to. As it turns out, you cannot merely order anything like this in one piece increments. You can find lots of people to sell you exactly what you want, a brown-glass Boston Bottle with 20/400 thread with a rubber top and glass pipette. What you can’t find is anyone willing to sell it to you in counts less than 500. So, if you want to fix this one problem, you have to buy 500 glass bottles to fix just one. It’s thoroughly absurd. I have moved away from Beardoholic as a brand, not because of their product, but because of their packaging. It was the first beard oil I tried, and it was a challenge to use. In the end, I did more shopping online and discovered that many other manufacturers use rubber-top/glass-pipette bottles, which I find to be incredibly more pleasant to use. In the end, I ended up at of all places, Hobby Lobby. They were the only ones I could find that had bottles like what I was looking for, and even still, I had to buy a set of three. The cost was almost nothing, but even today, I have two unused bottles in my cupboard that I will likely never ever use since I only needed the one.

I have resolved to use up the Beardoholic Unscented Beard Oil and keep it at work. In a few more days there will be nothing of it left, and I will wash the bottle and store it away as supplies. I don’t think I will be buying any more Beardoholic products, not when their packaging is so weak, or shipping is so strangely rough on them. The quality of the product that I don’t doubt and I do think it a good choice, but only when they address their bent, warped, buckled, and odd options for their products to be shipped in. When your customer has to rebottle your product, that’s not really all that great.

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