Marco Polo plays Ping Pong

There is always something. I recently had the irritated displeasure of attempting to raise a communications channel to a certain group of adults and found the process to be highly educational. Recently Apple had instituted a series of advanced security questions that get paired to an Apple ID when you make a purchase in the month of April. These questions ranged from “Where did your parents first meet?” to “What was the first concert you attended?”, those sorts of questions.

At work, I have an Apple ID that I use to manage our iOS devices here and there and one of the people I tried to contact had to be the one that set the security questions, as I had gotten an email stating that someone set the security questions on the account on April 14th. So I figured someone was just absent-minded, we all have that from time to time, so I texted everyone to please get back to me if they had answered any Apple security questions.

I did get just a handful out of 23 people reply to me in one fashion or another. I then shifted the request over to email and also sent another request “If you have answered any security questions, please let me know what they are.” and for about a week of waiting, just the handful out of 23 deigned to reply to me.

Right after that I started a request with iTunes support at Apple to petition them to wipe away the erroneous security questions on the account and they were busy working on that. Last night they sent me an email telling me that the security questions were reset and that I could login and re-answer them, which I did late last night. So the technical angle of this issue is now a solved non-issue.

But what does bother me, and it’s more vexatious then a real concern is how people replied, or didn’t to my inquiry. I had made the erroneous assumption that when I send out a text twice, and an email asking for information that there is a built-in component to that message which people should reply either way. It was for work, it was important, I used the word “please”. The response I received back after bringing this up was “I didn’t know what it was about so I didn’t reply.” and it was my fault I suppose for assuming that people would, by themselves, assume that a reply was expected. Out of 23 people, only five were not question marks, the rest were crickets. Nobody here but us crickets.

So in the future I vow that I will include “reply requested” to my communications. I hate to dumb it down so far as to treat them like children, but after this, I can’t help but think that’s going to be the only way I can establish a communications channel with these people. I have great fear for when I have to establish a technical communications channel with people, these specifically, but even people in general when there is an emergency. There is this sense of “deer in the headlights” that is deeply upsetting to me. If you get a message that you don’t understand – which is the better path? To actually communicate about it in hopes of resolving it or just sit in the dark, ignoring it, hoping it goes away?

It’s a lot like Marco Polo playing Ping Pong with himself. It’s not a game, it’s just a sad old man standing in front of a ping-pong table with a stiff little white ping pong ball bouncing on the table.

Facepalm
Facepalm

Growing

I started working at my place of employment about 11 years ago. At first I was filled with this naïve desire to work tirelessly doing my absolute best. Over time and several really good figurative beatings I started to lose the edge on my idealism. I walked into a situation with faulty assumptions, that adults were somehow mature, that stupidity had no place in the echelon of higher learning, and that people were naturally curious about their surroundings. Over the years I’ve ‘grown up’ and realized that a lot of these assumptions I had made very early on were wrong, and very wrong at that. At the start of my career I was a sharp tool, ready to chew up problems and spit them out. Now I find, after a decade of constant wearing down that I’m more knowledgable than I was before, but I’m also more worn-in. Like any component in a great machine at first everything works very well but there are slight vibrations and squeaks until all the parts wear-in and really hit their stride. In the intervening years I would feel cyclic waves of stress, as I tried to cope with the disconnect between what I assumed was obvious and what reality really was all about. Where am I now? Still sharp, still on top of things, but the turkeys don’t get me so worked up anymore. I used to rail, to go on at length, trying my best to wake up people I regarded as hazardous sleepwalkers. It took years of constant wearing and truth be told, I resisted the lessons with the very fiber of my being because I knew they were corrupt and wrong. Now I don’t care so very much about things. If I stop treating the things in my life that have little importance as if they were of monumental importance then the stress and suffering actually evaporates. I suppose I was stubborn, not wanting to accept how others truly are. That people are single mindedly driven to maintain the status quo, if they are sleepwalkers they will actively fight being woken up. I can’t say that things actually matter as much to me as they once did, now things are tempered through the lens of the past few years and things don’t bother me so much anymore. I have only to assume that this wearing-down will inevitably progress as I continue doing what I do and eventually I will no longer be a working part but rather resemble a worn-smooth river rock, not going to sleep, but extricating the awake parts of myself out of one section of my life and moving them into other sections. Professionally speaking, I can expect this smoothing out to continue until there is a minimum of abrasion between my working self and my job. I have already discovered several good places to start, namely not allowing the events that transpire at work to be places where anger can sprout and stress me out. I don’t actively hate my coworkers, I actively don’t care about them. I’ve replaced outrage and anger with ignorance and apathy. I don’t know and I don’t care. My stress is borne out of the traction between how I want the world to be and how it really is, that stress converts to anger and the anger just boils and seethes. Anger is stupid, it does nothing. Anger could do things but I have to keep on living and allowing my anger to have a purpose would pretty much end the whole ‘keep on living’ part. I think the opposite of anger is humor. I’m on a road of self-repair, every time I come up against something that royally pisses me off I have to realize that it’s actually the traction and if I laugh about it, then at least I’ll have replaced stress with entertainment. I can definitely forsee myself becoming that old guy in the corner who laughs and chuckles to himself, hopefully with a mug of ale in my hands – laughing at the stupid and the wrong and the horrible. I’ll have swapped out anger-lines for laugh-lines. It’s going to be far better for me in the long-run and nobody here will even notice.