Waiting is the hardest part

Waiting for Verizon. It’s the hardest part of my February so far. For those who have been keeping track, the IRS came and tried to strangle our wireless infrastructure to death, but apparently failed. I’ve been on-again-off-again with Verizon but now we’re firmly on-again. I’ve sent neatly wrapped missives to management but have yet to hear any response.

All of this would be maddening if Verizon was ready. Thankfully it isn’t maddening because Verizon isn’t ready. In fact, from what I’ve seen from my local Verizon sales rep, they don’t even have a vocabulary yet, let alone any plans or packages for sale. So while I struggle with this nominal Blackberry, I watch the time tick away waiting for Verizon to get off their duff and give us details on plans. Then I can take that information to management and maybe goose them into action.

Last night was a problem because I couldn’t make an outbound call with my minimally acceptable Sprint service on my Blackberry. I had to turn off Automatic Roaming, go up to the upper level of my house where I could get the weakest of signals and make a call to order pizza for dinner. Sprint’s network is wretchedly bad, and it almost never was the case before.

I haven’t the heart to call Sprint and tell them what I’m planning. So far all they know is that the IRS is likely going to be the reason why we close our contract. It’s a total straw-man, and as far as today, a rather nifty fabrication. The last time I told them I was contemplating leaving Sprint for Verizon they sent my sales rep, a VP of sales, and a third fellow who had the word “synergy” in his title, or something to that effect. Truth to be told, I don’t have a problem with my Sprint sales rep, or the VP of sales that came to visit, but that third guy was aggressive, abrasive, and thoroughly an unpleasant human being. If Sprint ever gets around to thinking about why they lost my business they can look no further than this third-man they brought with them. Leaving him in his cubicle may be the best move for their future business, if they have any after Verizon poaches every single one of their customers.

I couldn’t properly express to Sprint exactly why the iPhone on Verizon was so compelling. They kept on pushing Android on their network — Are you serious? Verizon is a double-dunk. The device has pretty much already sold me. The Verizon network is the other half of the power-shot and the fact that Verizon is willing to drop the pretense and become a commodity wireless service vendor means the biggest fear I had about the iPhone on Verizon went up in smoke. They aren’t going to nail it down, cover it with obnoxious Verizon “VZ” bullshit, they are going to simply put the device on their network and let the chips fall where they may.

This is like a hat-trick from heaven. Sprint pre-occupied with an IRS straw-man, iPhone on Verizon, and Verizon keeping their ugly branding out of the pot. Bam Bam BAM! If anyone wants to know why, that’s why. A hat-trick.

Now if only Verizon would get back to me… tick tock tick tock gentlemen!

Hamster Wheel

A week ago a policy was sent which indicated that the IRS was effectively going to strangle the life out of our wireless infrastructure. Yesterday afternoon I learned that while the policy may be published, it was an error that it was sent out and the brouhaha that it caused was a mistake.

I talked it over with my boss and I commented that the only information I had to act on was the policy sent down and I didn’t have any other guidance. I had sent an email to management but never got a reply. Then my boss told me that sometimes not hearing an answer is an answer – and it hit me – a line right out of Serendipity, one of the best lines that Jeremy Piven’s character Dean Kansky said “So the absence of a sign, is a sign!?!.. They should make pills for this…” hit me and I had to suppress a serious case of the giggles.

So after talking with management, which is apparently dominated by the doppler effect, in so far that the words I hear are modulated by pitch changes as they rush away to another meeting, I got what I was after, which was an ounce of clarification.

So the policy exists and we are moving ahead with a wireless infrastructure. I contacted our Verizon rep and placed the toy train back on the tracks after so violently derailing it earlier and set the track power to maximum so we could catch up. Just as much as we don’t know exactly how we’re going to approach our wireless infrastructure, Verizon doesn’t know how they are going to handle our contract, at least yet. I bet when we make decisions, that will oddly be the same moment that Verizon makes it’s decisions. I suspect we’ll have a bumper crop of Kismet coming down the pike.

Security Theater

Just passed through the TSA checkpoint about ten minutes
ago and went through with flying colors. MSP didn’t stop and ask a
batch of impertinent questions and poke around my bag-o-tech one
little bit. Of course I am fully aware that the TSA is purely
“Security Theater” evidenced by me forgetting to take off my belt
which has a big fat stainless steel buckle. The magnetometer didn’t
even flinch at that. I suspect that it’s all smoke and mirrors,
that the theater is totally fake and transparent and that we’re
flying just as insecure as we were back in 2000 except now we’ve
spent an intolerable amount of money on shazam security that
doesn’t really protect us at all. We can thank the GOP for the
massive expansion of government in our lives thanks to Homeland
Security. That’s a government program that if it was devoted to
healthcare instead of campy theater would make every
dyed-in-the-wool liberal wet their pants. Technology of course is
facilitated by Delta, who saw fit to grace the local waiting area
with easy to reach electrical sockets. It’s an olive branch to
offset the notion that they are raping us over bag fees. So Scott
and I are plugged in, and because MSP’s wireless infrastructure is
pay-as-you-go, I’ve got my handy-dandy Zoom travel router happily
blinking away, converting my 3G access card into a WiFi hotspot.
I’m happily slurping down electricity charging my iPad, which I’m
using to write this blog entry, and my iPod Nano. The Zoom router
and its battery are happily soaking up the free juice as well. So,
for personal liberty 2011 is rather sucky, but for technology,
especially bullshit technological barriers, it’s pretty good so
far. Being able to establish my own WiFi hotspot at-will is a
really neat “sticking-it-to-the-man” kind of feeling. Now on with
the waiting!